Anatomy of Failure: Maiden Saga

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Chamomile
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Post by Chamomile »

Yeah, this strikes me as basically just a terrible, but totally generic, fantasy system appended to a campaign setting that has sex in it.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

which, ironically, makes Book of Erotic Fantasy a much better book.

If I had mixer (wait, holy shit I do.) I'd do a drunk review myself, since apparently that's the thing now.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Maxus
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Post by Maxus »

Nymphology at least had the decency to not take itself seriously.

Which is way better than the BOEF
Last edited by Maxus on Sat Jan 26, 2013 5:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

I still have yet to actually look through that book, strangely enough...
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
Koumei
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Post by Koumei »

If you want to use Nymphology, don't pay money for it. The author is a sexist twatface who should not be supported. The majority of spells in the book range from "hurr hurr dick jokes" to "okay, you could use this, and it's a little sexy/funny". The prestige classes are all shit. It also has a section talking about existing spells (and the schools in general) and pervy uses.

On its own, putting the author aside, I wouldn't recommend it in good faith, but let's face it, spells that make people's clothing (and thus, magic items) fall off without destroying them are really awesome.
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

How fortunate that I happen to have a pdf of the book sitting on my external hard drive...
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Maxus
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Post by Maxus »

You haven't read it before, clean slate, first impressions....

I vote for Nymphology.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
Koumei
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Post by Koumei »

So let's continue before I actually kick someone in the face at this party. Yes, people were invited two nights in a row. For the record, they all depend on my department at work, so it's going to be fucking hilarious when their needs are put on lowest priority. The power of IT.
The main combat rules will cover the majority of encounters, but there will always be exceptions.
No, they don't provide examples or anything. Also, you get 1 Glory for winning combat, 2 if you're an Aeg, 3 if you're an Aeg who beats an Aeg and 4 if you're anyone else who beats an Aeg. With more for being outnumbered.

Oh, my mistake, it has rules for using siege weapons so I guess that's the exception. Great. Yes, it varies based on culture.

The section on assassination is hilarious:
None of the eight peoples openly condones murder, at least not of themselves, but in Hai, Makea, Oretes and Vendjome assassination is accepted as a political tool
They gain a point for "none of them condones". For the record, all societies see it as appropriate to subject captured assassins to public, humiliating deaths. I think it's supposed to be some kind of "sexy" fucked to death thing. That makes me sick, I'm drinking more.
Any PC from those four cultures, also strangers, may take on an assassination mission as long as their Guile exceeds their Pride. For the other four peoples the PCs Guile must be at least double the value of their Pride. Having accepted the mission, you must reach your target by the normal means of play, travelling through the countryside, not allowing yourself to be seduced, defrauded or sold into slavery, evading guards and so forth. On reaching your target you must choose between the two forceful Additional Attributes, Power and Craft, as you are, in effect, persuading your victim to be dead. You then roll against the target, with your Game Points in Power or Craft against their Game Points in Constitution, building sixes if you have the right Primary Drive. If the target manages to roll four of a kind they have escaped. Otherwise you keep going until one of you runs out of points in your stat as normal.
See the bolded bit. That is amazing.

The rules for capturing people so you can fuck them are basically a normal Whatever vs Con challenge with bonuses based on culture and the type of stuff you use to capture them (net, bolas etc). Trying to escape once captures involves making a roll, and the number of sixes determines how much stuff you find (or who you run into). Theft basically works the same way - make a roll of X, and the number of sixes determines whether you find money or guards or whatever.

More later maybe, but really you already know the entire system.
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.
Korgan0
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Post by Korgan0 »

Actually, there are some legitimately effective spells and feats in the BoEF. Like, effective enough that I'd seriously consider taking them in a vanilla 3.5 game.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

"Persuading your victim to be dead."

Amazing. I'm using this at some point.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
Korwin
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Post by Korwin »

I have something to confess. I downloaded the sample chapter of 'Maiden' book one of the 'Maiden series'...

So far I red about an girl with rape fantasies (with an Goblin) and lesbian sex...

Edit: WTF, Amazon link
Last edited by Korwin on Sat Jan 26, 2013 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Voss
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Post by Voss »

Thanks for that link. Really, that was bad. From the word go is a non-stop stream of consciousness from goblin rape fantasies to lesbian fantasies to minor bath diddling, to spanking/humiliation fantasies. The single interruption to the main character's non-stop fixation on sex is a bizarre conversation about how she'd have to shorten her name by two letters while some princess passes through. Because status bullshit.

Also, I was curious as to the (completely unexplained and unsupported) 'widely acclaimed' tag on the series, so I clicked on the authors name. She has a fuckton of direct-to-kindle 'erotica' (I found the sample to be about as erotic as the floor, but whatever), including helpful guides to the standard array of 'alternative sex play.' Including a 4star review of her
Pony and Puppy Play guide, which also had a 'sponsored link for actual pet (ie real cats and dogs and shit) training products, which is kind of fucking weird.

And wow is there a lot of cheap, shitty porn for the kindle. Especially breeding, domination and enslavement.
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Chamomile
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Post by Chamomile »

How well is that selling? Could I supplement my income by writing terrible porn?
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OgreBattle
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Post by OgreBattle »

Voss wrote:T
And wow is there a lot of cheap, shitty porn for the kindle. Especially breeding, domination and enslavement.
What's some examples of good quality fantasy porn then?
MisterDee
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Post by MisterDee »

Yeah, the ebook market for the Kindle would benefit from a bit of trimming.

I'd say that porn isn't the way to go to get rich, though - I read an article a couple of years ago about an "author" who wrote terrible fiction (as in, unedited crap) and sold it under titles like "The Dragon Girl with the Tattoo" and the like. Basically, she put a few hours into each title (enough to have actual, if crappy, content), producing hundreds of titles, and making money off of people who purchased her things by mistake.

You gotta admire the ingeniosity, if nothing else. :)
fectin
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Post by fectin »

Caveat emptor.
Vebyast wrote:Here's a fun target for Major Creation: hydrazine. One casting every six seconds at CL9 gives you a bit more than 40 liters per second, which is comparable to the flow rates of some small, but serious, rocket engines. Six items running at full blast through a well-engineered engine will put you, and something like 50 tons of cargo, into space. Alternatively, if you thrust sideways, you will briefly be a fireball screaming across the sky at mach 14 before you melt from atmospheric friction.
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Count Arioch the 28th
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Re: Anatomy of Failure: Maiden Saga

Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

Koumei wrote:. I'll show you a picture of a goblin, it's priceless. AND NOT SAFE FOR WORK.
Image
Goddammit, when she drew that picture of me it wasn't supposed to go any farther than her own bedroom. Thank you for bringing that to my attention, I'm going to have a long talk with one of my exes.
Last edited by Count Arioch the 28th on Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

This explains a lot, really.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Sunwitch
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Post by Sunwitch »

Huh, sounds like the most slimy and puerile thing to come out of RPGs since FATAL, I'll be honest.
fectin
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Post by fectin »

Not quite. FATAL had that thing where it insisted that it's rape fetishization and racism were perfectly normal, and completely in good taste. This doesn't seem to take itself nearly so seriously.

It's like the difference between waggling your privates at your spouse in the bedroom, and waggling them at random people on the street: sure it's the same action, but context really does matter.
Vebyast wrote:Here's a fun target for Major Creation: hydrazine. One casting every six seconds at CL9 gives you a bit more than 40 liters per second, which is comparable to the flow rates of some small, but serious, rocket engines. Six items running at full blast through a well-engineered engine will put you, and something like 50 tons of cargo, into space. Alternatively, if you thrust sideways, you will briefly be a fireball screaming across the sky at mach 14 before you melt from atmospheric friction.
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

Yes, this seems to be more capitalizing on the fact that people actually do have rape fantasies, on both sides, and giving them a place to engage in such fantasy without doing anything of, at best, questionable legality, and not pretending that it is somehow "realistic" or "superior" because it acknowledges and gives rules for raping helpless maidens. Or farmhands, whatever.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Chamomile
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Post by Chamomile »

I might not personally want to play a game catering to rape fetishes, but I'm totally okay with it existing. I seriously don't even have any problems with the game's setting, it's just the mechanics that suck.
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Count Arioch the 28th
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Post by Count Arioch the 28th »

Rape fetishists creep me the fuck out.
In this moment, I am Ur-phoric. Not because of any phony god’s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my int score.
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